“I like to think I’ve learned my lesson, but then I go and I trip up again. Why?? I’m asking why do I keep failing?!? I’m at the tail end of my sanity...”
To be honest, 2019 was hard for me.
I felt like I was faced with failure left and right.
It was my first full year embarking fully on music while everyone I graduated with went off to college.
Let me just fill you in... trying to make it in the music industry is not an easy feat.
There is no guarantee of anything, no set of steps or classes to ace and BOOM! you make it.
I questioned myself often wondering if I have what it takes and doubting my choice to walk a path different from everyone else.
Even though I had wrestled with God countless times asking if this is what I was really meant for and heard confirmation that this is what I’m supposed to do, I kept struggling to push forward.
The reason is I was relying too heavily on my own strength and capability.
Every time I couldn’t measure up to the standard in my head I felt drowned in disappointment and shame.
Why couldn’t I do it?!?!
Why was I not good enough?!
Why could I excel in some areas and flop in others??
Ultimately I was going through the motions and not truly trusting God’s plan.
It’s an easy thing to stumble into especially in unfamiliar territory.
But one thing I’ve learned is that God doesn’t call the people who have it all together, He calls those who are weak in order to equip them with His strength.
If I unplug from the source of my strength, I am certain to stumble and fall, but when I work in Gods power is when He will take me to levels I couldn’t have imagined.
Notice I said work...God isn’t a genie and He doesn’t always work in the ways you expect.
I was always told God does half the work, but He does the latter half.
It’s up to you to take the step of faith you lean on God as you walk His path, but if you trust that He will see you through, the journey will be just as worthwhile as the destination. 🖤
Inspired by New Song "700 Million Scars" out 🖤1/31/20🖤
Pre-Save the song now! Here's the link: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/xandriacross/700-million-scars